Commentary
Skeptic's Annotated Bible
21:1 And the LORD visited Sarah as he had said, and the LORD did unto Sarah as he had spoken.
God gets Sarah pregnant.
21:2 For Sarah conceived, and bare Abraham a son in his old age, at the set time of which God had spoken to him.
21:3 And Abraham called the name of his son that was born unto him, whom Sarah bare to him, Isaac.
21:4 And Abraham circumcised his son Isaac being eight days old, as God had commanded him.
Right, don't waste any time cutting the foreskin off that penis!
21:5 And Abraham was an hundred years old, when his son Isaac was born unto him.
21:6 And Sarah said, God hath made me to laugh, so that all that hear will laugh with me.
21:7 And she said, Who would have said unto Abraham, that Sarah should have given children suck? for I have born him a son in his old age.
Yes, who would have thought that a 90-year-old woman could lactate? Very unbelievable. Almost as unbelievable as people living 900 years.
See, my point here is that if you start to refer to unbelievable things as unbelievable (i.e., you're supposed to read this and realize what's unbelievable), it emphasizes the unbelievable things that came before that were never questioned.
21:8 And the child grew, and was weaned: and Abraham made a great feast the same day that Isaac was weaned.
Because that happens in a day.
21:9 And Sarah saw the son of Hagar the Egyptian, which she had born unto Abraham, mocking.
Uh oh. Sarah was already unhappy with Hagar and Ishmael, I guess because it made her jealous, even though it was her idea for Abraham to sleep with Hagar. Since God made Hagar return to Abraham's household after she ran away for being beaten, I'm sure Sarah has continued to treat her harshly. Now that she has a son of her own, she wants to get rid of them for good.
21:10 Wherefore she said unto Abraham, Cast out this bondwoman and her son: for the son of this bondwoman shall not be heir with my son, even with Isaac.
Sarah is such an unkind woman.
21:11 And the thing was very grievous in Abraham's sight because of his son.
21:12 And God said unto Abraham, Let it not be grievous in thy sight because of the lad, and because of thy bondwoman; in all that Sarah hath said unto thee, hearken unto her voice; for in Isaac shall thy seed be called.
Abraham feels bad about the idea of kicking Hagar and Ishmael out of his house, but God tells him that he has to do what Sarah says (even if he knows it's wrong).
Also, in Genesis 3:17, Adam earned a curse for all mankind "because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife." So, are you supposed to hearken unto your wife or not?
21:13 And also of the son of the bondwoman will I make a nation, because he is thy seed.
At least Ishmael is going to get something out of it.
21:14 And Abraham rose up early in the morning, and took bread, and a bottle of water, and gave it unto Hagar, putting it on her shoulder, and the child, and sent her away: and she departed, and wandered in the wilderness of Beersheba.
At least she has bread and water. I wonder how long that will last them in the wilderness?
21:15 And the water was spent in the bottle, and she cast the child under one of the shrubs.
Not long. Hang on, she runs out of water so she abandons the kid? Poor Ishmael!
21:16 And she went, and sat her down over against him a good way off, as it were a bow shot: for she said, Let me not see the death of the child. And she sat over against him, and lift up her voice, and wept.
21:17 And God heard the voice of the lad; and the angel of God called to Hagar out of heaven, and said unto her, What aileth thee, Hagar? fear not; for God hath heard the voice of the lad where he is.
21:18 Arise, lift up the lad, and hold him in thine hand; for I will make him a great nation.
21:19 And God opened her eyes, and she saw a well of water; and she went, and filled the bottle with water, and gave the lad drink.
I'm sure that water wasn't there before; it was only after Hagar despaired that she realized they actually had water. But now that they have water, everything will be fine.
21:20 And God was with the lad; and he grew, and dwelt in the wilderness, and became an archer.
21:21 And he dwelt in the wilderness of Paran: and his mother took him a wife out of the land of Egypt.
Mom's looking out for Ishmael, found him a wife. Thanks mom!
21:22 And it came to pass at that time, that Abimelech and Phichol the chief captain of his host spake unto Abraham, saying, God is with thee in all that thou doest:
Okay, there's a shift in the story at this point. Earlier we were in the wilderness of Paran with Hagar and Ishmael (and his new wife); but now we see Abimelech talking to Abraham again. I guess this means we're back in Gerar.
21:23 Now therefore swear unto me here by God that thou wilt not deal falsely with me, nor with my son, nor with my son's son: but according to the kindness that I have done unto thee, thou shalt do unto me, and to the land wherein thou hast sojourned.
Abimelech doesn't trust Abraham, because Abraham is a miserable liar who nearly brought death to his family by lying to him. I wouldn't trust him either.
21:24 And Abraham said, I will swear.
I'll tell the truth this time, honest!
21:25 And Abraham reproved Abimelech because of a well of water, which Abimelech's servants had violently taken away.
The storytelling is just awful. Abimelech says to Abraham: "Promise you'll tell me the truth." Abraham says, "I will, I promise." And then Abraham starts whining at Abimelech about a well of water that has gone missing (how can a well be taken away?). Non sequitur much?
21:26 And Abimelech said, I wot not who hath done this thing; neither didst thou tell me, neither yet heard I of it, but to day.
Abimelech: "Wasn't me! It was just my servants."
21:27 And Abraham took sheep and oxen, and gave them unto Abimelech; and both of them made a covenant.
21:28 And Abraham set seven ewe lambs of the flock by themselves.
21:29 And Abimelech said unto Abraham, What mean these seven ewe lambs which thou hast set by themselves?
21:30 And he said, For these seven ewe lambs shalt thou take of my hand, that they may be a witness unto me, that I have digged this well.
I'm going to dig a new well (since your servants "took" my old one; how can someone "take" a well, violently, no less?), and these seven lambs will bear witness to this new well that I'm digging, so we can have a covenant.
If people acted like this in real life, they'd be committed for being insane.
21:31 Wherefore he called that place Beersheba; because there they sware both of them.
The name is derived from the Hebrew Be'er meaning "a well," and Sheva, meaning "to swear an oath." So it's like "oath-well." If you were reading this in Hebrew the line would make sense.
21:32 Thus they made a covenant at Beersheba: then Abimelech rose up, and Phichol the chief captain of his host, and they returned into the land of the Philistines.
Abraham digs a well, gives Abimelech some sheep, they swear an oath, and then Abimelech takes his army and relocates to the land of the Philistines. Is the whole book written in this incomprehensible way? Ugh. Why, exactly, did Abimelech leave? What, exactly, was this oath that was sworn, and what does it have to do with Abimelech leaving, or the well that was violently "taken" by Abimelech's servants?
21:33 And Abraham planted a grove in Beersheba, and called there on the name of the LORD, the everlasting God.
21:34 And Abraham sojourned in the Philistines' land many days.
After Abimelech leaves, Abraham hangs out for a while and enjoys having the place to himself.
For once, the commentary is actually helpful here. The idea is that a well is considered to be both of great importance (especially if you live in a desert), and a symbol of property. Abraham took note of a well that went into disrepair because Abimelech's servants had failed to tend to it properly. At this point Abraham dug a new well, which gave him rights to the property. Which is why Abimelech then left after swearing an oath, probably solidifying the transfer of land to Abraham.
This is also why Abimelech is skeptical of Abraham's honesty at first, because Abraham is a known liar; fool me once... And since Abimelech has so much to lose in this case, he can be forgiven for being so dubious of Abraham's honesty. But in the end Abraham gets the land and Abimelech and his people have to relocate.
Poor Abimelech, whenever he encounters Abraham he gets screwed.
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