Commentary
Skeptic's Annotated Bible
49:1 And Jacob called unto his sons,
This is now the third chapter in which Jacob appears to have died, but hasn't died yet. I'm not saying "die, already," I just mean that the writing is so bad that you can't actually tell what's happening.
and said, Gather yourselves together, that I may tell you that which shall befall you in the last days.
Jacob is getting ready to make prophecies. I didn't know he was also a fortune teller!
49:2 Gather yourselves together, and hear, ye sons of Jacob; and hearken unto Israel your father.
I really hope he doesn't speak to each of the 71 kids individually.... It must be a large room!
49:3 Reuben, thou art my firstborn, my might, and the beginning of my strength, the excellency of dignity, and the excellency of power:
49:4 Unstable as water, thou shalt not excel; because thou wentest up to thy father's bed; then defiledst thou it: he went up to my couch.
Jacob is mad at Reuben because Reuben slept with Bilhah. This was mentioned in Gen 35 for apparently no reason, just to be brought up here I guess as an excuse for him to "not excel."
49:5 Simeon and Levi are brethren; instruments of cruelty are in their habitations.
49:6 O my soul, come not thou into their secret; unto their assembly, mine honor, be not thou united: for in their anger they slew a man, and in their self-will they digged down a wall.
49:7 Cursed be their anger, for it was fierce; and their wrath, for it was cruel: I will divide them in Jacob, and scatter them in Israel.
Simeon and Levi are punished because "in their anger they slew a man" and "digged down a wall" (which I suppose means they sacked the town). Their crime was much larger than this: they killed all the men of that town, took all the women and children as slaves, and stole all of their possessions. And now they get their punishment: their descendents will be scattered throughout the land.
What? If I'm convicted of murder, the punishment isn't applied to my children and their descendants, who didn't do anything wrong. Such a bizarre view of justice.
49:8 Judah, thou art he whom thy brethren shall praise: thy hand shall be in the neck of thine enemies; thy father's children shall bow down before thee.
49:9 Judah is a lion's whelp: from the prey, my son, thou art gone up: he stooped down, he couched as a lion, and as an old lion; who shall rouse him up?
49:10 The sceptre shall not depart from Judah, nor a lawgiver from between his feet, until Shiloh come; and unto him shall the gathering of the people be.
49:11 Binding his foal unto the vine, and his ass's colt unto the choice vine; he washed his garments in wine, and his clothes in the blood of grapes:
49:12 His eyes shall be red with wine, and his teeth white with milk.
Well this is just mostly jibberish. It *sounds* like Jacob is foretelling that Judah will become a successful vintner, up until Shiloh comes (whoever that is).
Since we're recounting the crimes of Jacob's family here, it's odd to me that Jacob didn't bring up the fact that Judah slept with his daugher-in-law Tamar and fathered two children with her (Pharez and Zerah). I guess in this twisted tale, this isn't wrong?
49:13 Zebulun shall dwell at the haven of the sea; and he shall be for an haven of ships; and his border shall be unto Zidon.
Today, Sidon is the third largest city in Lebanon and is under the control of Sunni Muslims.
49:14 Issachar is a strong ass couching down between two burdens:
49:15 And he saw that rest was good, and the land that it was pleasant; and bowed his shoulder to bear, and became a servant unto tribute.
"I got a rock!"
49:16 Dan shall judge his people, as one of the tribes of Israel.
49:17 Dan shall be a serpent by the way, an adder in the path, that biteth the horse heels, so that his rider shall fall backward.
49:18 I have waited for thy salvation, O LORD.
Dan is compared to a snake. We know what God thinks of snakes (from Gen 3:14): "thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life."
49:19 Gad, a troop shall overcome him: but he shall overcome at the last.
49:20 Out of Asher his bread shall be fat, and he shall yield royal dainties.
Royal dainties? I guess this means pastries good enough for a King?
49:21 Naphtali is a hind let loose: he giveth goodly words.
A "hind" is a female deer. So Naphtali is like a wild, female deer. Whatever that means.
49:22 Joseph is a fruitful bough, even a fruitful bough by a well; whose branches run over the wall:
49:23 The archers have sorely grieved him, and shot at him, and hated him:
49:24 But his bow abode in strength, and the arms of his hands were made strong by the hands of the mighty God of Jacob; (from thence is the shepherd, the stone of Israel:)
49:25 Even by the God of thy father, who shall help thee; and by the Almighty, who shall bless thee with blessings of heaven above, blessings of the deep that lieth under, blessings of the breasts,
I guess Jacob knows that Joseph is a boob guy.
and of the womb:
49:26 The blessings of thy father have prevailed above the blessings of my progenitors unto the utmost bound of the everlasting hills: they shall be on the head of Joseph, and on the crown of the head of him that was separate from his brethren.
Joseph is a fruitful bough by a well; meaning the family tree will have many strong branches from Joseph. He best get busy then, because out of the 71 descendents from Jacob, only two of them are from Joseph: Manasseh and Ephraim.
49:27 Benjamin shall raven as a wolf:
The verb "raven" means "to hunt."
in the morning he shall devour the prey, and at night he shall divide the spoil.
...because wolves are so good at sharing.
49:28 All these are the twelve tribes of Israel: and this is it that their father spake unto them, and blessed them; every one according to his blessing he blessed them.
These are the 12 tribes, then: (1) Reuben, (2) Simeon, (3) Levi, (4) Judah, (5) Zebulun, (6) Issachar, (7) Dan, (8) Gad, (9) Asher, (10) Naphtali, (11) Joseph, and (12) Benjamin.
The Bible spends so much time trying to attribute the lineage of "tribes" and the ownership of land; it seems incredibly insecure about this kind of thing.
Here's the problem: if you convince your followers that they're entitled to land as part of their belief system, it will automatically create conflict with other people who are under no obligation to accept your baseless claims, especially if they have a more legitimate claim to the land under dispute. By making it a religious argument, you're guaranteeing endless strife, pain and the occasional outright war. This is a terribly narrow, inhumane and short-sighted thing to do, especially if you're trying to claim that you're inspired by a kind, all-powerful and all-knowing deity.
49:29 And he charged them, and said unto them, I am to be gathered unto my people: bury me with my fathers in the cave that is in the field of Ephron the Hittite,
49:30 In the cave that is in the field of Machpelah, which is before Mamre, in the land of Canaan, which Abraham bought with the field of Ephron the Hittite for a possession of a buryingplace.
49:31 There they buried Abraham and Sarah his wife; there they buried Isaac and Rebekah his wife; and there I buried Leah.
...but not Rachel, who he really loved.
49:32 The purchase of the field and of the cave that is therein was from the children of Heth.
Again, this preoccupation with ownership of property. Sheesh.
49:33 And when Jacob had made an end of commanding his sons, he gathered up his feet into the bed, and yielded up the ghost, and was gathered unto his people.
Okay, can I conclude that Jacob really is dead now?
And by the way, nobody was actually punished for their crimes here. They may have heard some harsh words from Jacob on his deathbed, but everybody got off light. Better than that: they're named as heads of tribes of Israel! Reuben the adulterer (and no mention that this would also make Bilhah an adulteress), Judah the adulturer (with his daughter-in-law!), Simeon and Levi the murderers and thieves: they all get off scot-free!
Unbelievable.
No comments:
Post a Comment