Commentary
Skeptic's Annotated Bible
29:1 Then Jacob went on his journey, and came into the land of the people of the east.
29:2 And he looked, and behold a well in the field, and, lo, there were three flocks of sheep lying by it; for out of that well they watered the flocks: and a great stone was upon the well's mouth.
29:3 And thither were all the flocks gathered: and they rolled the stone from the well's mouth, and watered the sheep, and put the stone again upon the well's mouth in his place.
29:4 And Jacob said unto them, My brethren, whence be ye? And they said, Of Haran are we.
29:5 And he said unto them, Know ye Laban the son of Nahor? And they said, We know him.
29:6 And he said unto them, Is he well? And they said, He is well: and, behold, Rachel his daughter cometh with the sheep.
29:7 And he said, Lo, it is yet high day, neither is it time that the cattle should be gathered together: water ye the sheep, and go and feed them.
29:8 And they said, We cannot, until all the flocks be gathered together, and till they roll the stone from the well's mouth; then we water the sheep.
29:9 And while he yet spake with them, Rachel came with her father's sheep; for she kept them.
29:10 And it came to pass, when Jacob saw Rachel the daughter of Laban his mother's brother, and the sheep of Laban his mother's brother, that Jacob went near, and rolled the stone from the well's mouth, and watered the flock of Laban his mother's brother.
Apparently there is great significance to the watering of a relative's animals. This is how Isaac ended up with Rebekah, and how Jacob ends up with Rachel. Moral: if you visit your cousin's house, be careful not to give water to her pets.
29:11 And Jacob kissed Rachel, and lifted up his voice, and wept.
A little kissy kissy before marriage? For shame!
29:12 And Jacob told Rachel that he was her father's brother, and that he was Rebekah's son: and she ran and told her father.
Daddy! My cousin kissed me!
Okay, wait. Jacob is Laban's brother? That's not right: he's the son of Isaac and Rebekah, and Rebekah is Laban's brother. This makes Jacob Laban's nephew, and Rachel's cousin (and not her uncle, which he'd be if he were Laban's brother). So confusing!
29:13 And it came to pass, when Laban heard the tidings of Jacob his sister's son, that he ran to meet him, and embraced him, and kissed him, and brought him to his house. And he told Laban all these things.
29:14 And Laban said to him, Surely thou art my bone and my flesh.
I smell a marriage coming on...
And he abode with him the space of a month.
29:15 And Laban said unto Jacob, Because thou art my brother,
Um, not exactly my brother, but my nephew. Yeah, that's what I meant.
shouldest thou therefore serve me for nought?
If we weren't related I'd totally exploit you, but seeing as you're my nephew...
tell me, what shall thy wages be?
29:16 And Laban had two daughters: the name of the elder was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel.
29:17 Leah was tender eyed; but Rachel was beautiful and well favored.
I don't know what "tender eyed" means, but I guess this is unattractive?
29:18 And Jacob loved Rachel; and said, I will serve thee seven years for Rachel thy younger daughter.
If you live in a time in which slavery is common, I guess receiving a human being as payment for work is not that surprising. But for me, this is offensive.
29:19 And Laban said, It is better that I give her to thee, than that I should give her to another man:
You know, another man who isn't her cousin.
abide with me.
29:20 And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her.
29:21 And Jacob said unto Laban, Give me my wife, for my days are fulfilled, that I may go in unto her.
Really? Give me your daughter to be my wife so I may fuck her? (Maybe "go in unto her" isn't as crass as I'm making it sound, but we know what it means, and it seems incredibly strange that Jacob would say this to Laban.)
29:22 And Laban gathered together all the men of the place, and made a feast.
29:23 And it came to pass in the evening, that he took Leah his daughter, and brought her to him; and he went in unto her.
Bom-chicka-bow-wow.
Wait, what? Leah? Somebody is confused.
29:24 And Laban gave unto his daughter Leah Zilpah his maid for an handmaid.
Leah is given Zilpah to be her slave.
29:25 And it came to pass, that in the morning, behold, it was Leah: and he said to Laban, What is this thou hast done unto me? did not I serve with thee for Rachel? wherefore then hast thou beguiled me?
I guess Laban got Jacob drunk at the feast so he wouldn't notice he was marrying and bedding the wrong daughter? This is so twisted!
29:26 And Laban said, It must not be so done in our country, to give the younger before the firstborn.
It's okay (nay, preferable) to marry cousins, but it would be wrong, WRONG I say, to marry off the younger before the older. We are civilized people, we do not act like immoral barbarians here! (I would have told you this sooner, but I figured you'd flee rather than marry Leah.... But my dishonesty was totally civilized!)
29:27 Fulfil her week, and we will give thee this also for the service which thou shalt serve with me yet seven other years.
Excuse me? Give my oldest daughter sex for a week and then I'll give you my younger daughter? The depravity of these people is astounding.
29:28 And Jacob did so, and fulfilled her week: and he gave him Rachel his daughter to wife also.
Marries both sisters! A double-whammy of polygamy and incest. Bible, you've outdone yourself!
29:29 And Laban gave to Rachel his daughter Bilhah his handmaid to be her maid.
Another slave; this time Bilhah is given to Rachel.
29:30 And he went in also unto Rachel,
Bom-chicka-wow-wow.
and he loved also Rachel more than Leah, and served with him yet seven other years.
I think Jacob just got scammed out of 7 more years of labor (I guess Laban *would* exploit him after all). Moral of the story: don't get drunk on your wedding night when you're dealing with the family of Abraham, because they're a family of liars and cheats who you can't trust not to scam you out of something. Family means nothing to them, either, except when it comes to choosing marriage partners.
29:31 And when the LORD saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb: but Rachel was barren.
What on Earth is the logic here? The wife he didn't want, that he was fooled into taking, is fertile; but the wife he wanted, that he was tricked out of 7 more years of labor to obtain, is barren. What possible message is there in this? The question is only relevant because of the way this is presented in the story, as a positive action on God's part. If this weren't attributed to God, then it would be perfectly natural to realize that this is just how things work sometimes. Perhaps infertility occurs with a higher frequency in this family because of all of the inbreeding? But now we have to attribute this crazy logic to God somehow.
29:32 And Leah conceived, and bare a son, and she called his name Reuben: for she said, Surely the LORD hath looked upon my affliction;
What affliction?
now therefore my husband will love me.
29:33 And she conceived again, and bare a son; and said, Because the LORD hath heard I was hated, he hath therefore given me this son also: and she called his name Simeon.
29:34 And she conceived again, and bare a son; and said, Now this time will my husband be joined unto me, because I have born him three sons: therefore was his name called Levi.
29:35 And she conceived again, and bare a son: and she said, Now will I praise the LORD: therefore she called his name Judah; and left bearing.
She stopped worrying about whether her husband loved her, and decided to just praise the LORD. And then she stopped having kids. So, having children, then, was punishment for not praising the LORD? My head hurts from all of the incoherency in this storytelling.
I almost cannot even conceive of all of the inter-family marriages that have taken place. I'm trying to keep track, but it's made even more difficult by the fact that the Bible often makes mistakes (calling Jacob Laban's brother when he's his nephew, for example). This is what I have for Jacob at this point, but I'm including much of the relevant family tree for the brothers Nahor, Haran and Abraham just to highlight the extent of the inbreeding that's going on here. It's a wonder these people weren't born with 12 toes or vestigial tails or something.
Some things to notice. Isaac and Rebekah are cousins (both grandchildren of Terah). Sarah is Abraham's 1/2 sister; we don't know anything about Haran's wife, so she could be outside the family. Nahor marries his niece Milcah, who is his brother Haran's daughter. Nahor and Milcan have Rebekah and Laban as children. Rebekah marries her cousin Isaac (Abraham's son), and their son Jacob marries his uncle Laban's two daughters, Leah and Rachel.
It's times like this that I'm glad this is all fiction, because if this were real it would be too sick to contemplate.
Also, I want to point out that in the commentary, Jamieson attributes the "infamous fraud" carried out against Jacob by Laban to the general dishonorable character of "the people of the East":
This, however, is too much the way with the people of the East still.
I cannot imagine going through life with this kind of prejudiced, bigoted attitude towards a whole race of people. This is not a message of love, and unfortunately, it is wholly justified by the deviant views of this amoral book.
No comments:
Post a Comment